Category: Fake News

So, you’ve heard all about the many jobs opening up in the Secret Service after the Trump Rally Debacle — but do you have what […]

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for The Babylon Bee editorial board to opine on the mental capacities of sitting presidents, […]

U.S. — The mood on Capitol Hill was somber today, as congressional leaders joined Democrats across the nation in ordering flags to be flown at […]

U.S. — According to sources, the United States Secret Service plans to beef up Trump’s security team with a squad of blind midgets.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of an effort to reduce tensions and tone down dangerous rhetoric during a heated presidential campaign season, President Joe Biden […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As authorities sought to piece together the puzzle of glaring security failures in the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump, the […]

U.S. — Trump’s official VP pick JD Vance was horrified today after learning he will now have to communicate with voters on Truth Social.

RICHMOND, VA — Local woman Shayleigh Jennings is reportedly growing worried that her eyebrows might not be stupid enough after a long look in the […]

U.S. — Trump’s newly announced running mate JD Vance prepared to campaign with the former President today by donning a Kevlar helmet and body armor.

BUTLER, PA — Terrifying new reports indicate that a piece of Trump’s ear that had been shot off during Saturday’s assassination attempt has begun growing […]

U.S. — Following controversy over President Joe Biden’s health and the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump at a campaign rally over the weekend, […]

Female Secret Service agents have caught a lot of backhanded remarks as the country has reacted to the recent shooting of Donald Trump. Some people […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a heartfelt address to the American people today, Director of the Secret Service Kimberly Cheatle assured the nation that she wasn’t […]

ORLANDO, FL — A spokesman for Nike has just confirmed that the athletic apparel giant has just finished signing a $12 million pickleball endorsement deal […]

DES MOINES, IA — Sources within the Secret Service recently confirmed that the nation’s finest agents were unable to foil a devious assassin after the […]

ST. LOUIS, MO — A local pastor’s quality of life saw a dramatic improvement this week, as he was informed by the church board that […]

Over the centuries, the brilliant journalistic minds at CNN have covered several assassination attempts in their own unique way. Here are seven examples of their […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After yet another deadly attack perpetrated by a deranged leftist, this time coming an inch away from killing President Trump, the FBI […]

U.S. — President Biden has started to become progressively more curious which “President Putin” he gave a nuclear warhead to.

TULSA, OK — Local five-year-old David Daniels ignored his mother’s repeated warnings to stop standing in front of the microwave, and now Daniels is flying […]

U.S. — CNN announced today that in a shocking incident, former President Trump clumsily hit his head on a bullet, causing an unfortunate disturbance at […]

U.S. — Secret Service has reported that former President Donald Trump sustained only minor injuries in an assassination attempt, leaving the number of dead Presidential […]

U.S. — Former President has been indicted by a federal judge in Pennsylvania for inciting an assassination attempt that nearly killed him.

U.S. — Seeking to capitalize on the voters’ response to the primary defeat of Congressman Jamaal Bowman, Republicans across the country launched efforts to raise […]

ATLANTA, GA — As the much-anticipated first presidential debate of the 2024 election approaches, officials at the White House have stepped forward to caution Americans […]

Everyone knows that being a pastor is a great way to get into Heaven, but did you know that being a pastor can make your […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Squad met on Capitol Hill Wednesday to honor their fallen member, Jamaal Bowman, with a solemn 21 fire alarm salute.

COLUMBUS, OH — Local man Jackson Hund was overjoyed to learn that the woman breaking up with him totally wanted to still be friends.

NEW YORK, NY — In a stunning primary election defeat suffered by incumbent Congressman Jamaal Bowman, Hamas lost one of its seats in the U.S. […]

MILWAUKEE, WI — Sources close to local man James Birkowitz confirmed earlier today that the Wisconsin native did, in fact, choose to go on an […]

NEW YORK, NY — In an earlier-than-expected announcement, Fox News declared Joe Biden the winner of tonight’s presidential debate.

ROME — Scholars claim to have stumbled upon previously forgotten documents within the Vatican Secret Archives that, they say, prove beyond a shadow of a […]

ATLANTA, GA — Campaign staffers were sent into a frenzy ahead of tonight’s presidential debate as they realized President Joe Biden attempted to cheat on […]

VENTURA, CA — Local toddler Jack Gibson had a major meltdown this week after discovering the food he threw on the ground was on the […]

ATLANTA, GA — In a shocking turn of events, CNN revealed that presidential candidate Donald Trump tested positive for Diet Coke in a drug test […]

ARLINGTON, TX — Despite facing ongoing criticism for being the only remaining Major League Baseball team to not hold a Pride Night, the Texas Rangers […]

Most people have heard wild stories about the crazy things that can come to light in people’s internet search histories, but are you aware of […]

Excitement for tonight’s presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden has already reached a fever pitch, and The Babylon Bee is here to cover […]

LONDON, UK — The National Health Service of the United Kingdom announced Monday they will no longer permit children to be prescribed puberty blockers, a […]

GAZA — Mohammed Sinwar took time away from raping this week to celebrate Ramadan and confide in his fellow Gazans about the hardship of avoiding […]

The country seems more divided than ever these days, and it only gets more intense with it being an election year. It’s common, however, to […]

EL PASO, TX — After hearing about the size of the average American, Haitian cannibal gangs rushed the southern border near El Paso this week […]

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA — In what observers believe to be a significant step forward in the area of marital interaction, a local man thoughtfully responded […]

SHELTON, CT — With high prices continuing to ravage the U.S. economy, popular restaurant chains have been forced to come up with more affordable deals. […]

U.S. — With the nation still in shock over the latest in an ongoing string of violence resulting in Americans being killed by illegal immigrants, […]

U.S. — Alleged January 6 protesters have reportedly reached out to the White House, asking to no longer be called rioters or insurrectionists but rather […]

NEW YORK, NY — After being viciously booed at an FDNY promotion ceremony last week, New York AG Letitia James has announced she will be […]

ARLINGTON, VA — As aircraft malfunctions and incidents continued to make headlines, aerospace corporation Boeing blamed gravity for its recent string of mishaps.

WACO, TX — The household of a local family observed a solemn, hushed silence today as a trembling, reverent man carefully approached his pregnant wife […]

LONDON — The United Kingdom’s royal family has fallen under intense scrutiny recently. First, Princess Kate’s extended absence from public view brought about questions from […]

It’s the most important question you can ask, no matter which movie you’re watching: “who is the Christ figure in this movie?” And there’s no […]

Friends, I’m three days removed from proclaiming Elon Musk the second biggest MAGA threat in America and two days removed from declaring that the Supreme […]

MADISON, WI — As he prepared to complete his lunch by enjoying a delicious chocolate chip cookie, a local man was profoundly thankful that American […]

PLANO, TX — In a show of solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community, Doritos has taken bold steps to build strategic business relationships with trans influencers. […]

Nearly everyone understands the basic principles of conservatism or liberalism, but surprisingly few people are familiar with the neglected, red-headed stepchild of political philosophies: libertarianism.

KANSAS CITY, MO — As his relationship with the global music superstar continued to progress, rumors circulated that Travis Kelce wondered if it was too […]

NEW YORK — With Daniel Penny unavailable after being arrested for protecting New York’s subway system, Governor Kathy Hochul officially deployed the National Guard to […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brief statement to reporters following the Super Tuesday contests, a victorious President Joe Biden congratulated his opponent on a hard-fought […]

WALTHAM, MA — A somber mood fell over one of the nation’s foremost defense contractors this morning, as Raytheon lowered its flags to half-staff after […]

FULLERTON, CA — The relationship between a local married couple encountered an awkward moment this week after the wife caught her husband lusting after their […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a historic unanimous decision, the United States Supreme Court ruled once and for all that the Eagles could not have carried […]

White rural rage is the deadliest threat to democracy that democracy has ever been threatened by. Every day, rage-filled rural whiteys are lying in wait […]

BOSTON, MA — Footwear brand New Balance announced a new line of men’s shoes this week including a combo model for men on the go […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As more states across the country prepare to hold their primaries, Republican presidential hopeful Nikki Haley scored a ringing endorsement from voters […]

EVANSVILLE, IN — A local man endured one of the most difficult days of his career after bullies at work mercilessly mocked him for not […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning unanimous decision that dealt a shocking blow to democracy, the United States Supreme Court affirmed that people can vote […]

U.S. — In a landmark decision, the entire cast of The View has voted to overturn the Supreme Court’s overturning of the Colorado Supreme Court’s […]

U.S. — In defiance of federal directives, the Texas National Guard has bolstered security at the southern border with the strategic deployment of giant sandworms […]

WORLD — Scientists are now suggesting that prehistoric women were superior hunters to men, but not due to physical prowess or strategic skills. According to […]

BEAVER, OK — Local Christian Jacob Slorp found himself in yet another predicament that sadly prevented him from feeding his soul with a daily dose […]

CAMBRIDGE, MA — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what has been suspected for decades, revealing that 99% of all men pretend to use the […]

WASHINGTON, DC — According to unnamed sources, Democrats have discreetly petitioned the Supreme Court to keep current President and presumptive Democratic nominee Joeseph Biden from […]

So you want to get healthier, drop a few pounds, and get yourself in better shape? Great! Now all you have to do is choose […]

U.S. — Shockwaves were felt across the nation this morning after a widespread outage of popular social media platforms resulted in Instagram tradwives being forced […]